Having successfully guided many clients through divorce, we understand what is important to you, and we know what most clients don't know about divorce.
There is so much misleading information about divorce that many people make ill-informed decisions based on what their friends, family, or coworkers told them to do rather than consulting with an experienced divorce lawyer. Thus, it can be difficult to know where to get solid, practical advice.
When you're in the midst of a divorce, you are dealing with so many complex, simultaneous challenges that are financially, legally, and emotionally demanding, that you probably don't have a clue as to what the next day will bring, let alone the next 2 to 10 years.
With that in mind, here are some tips for strategizing your divorce:
Tip # 1. Learn before you act. Educate yourself about your rights and responsibilities under the law. Since no one expert may be able to navigate you through the complex laws, you may need to assemble a divorce team that includes an attorney, a financial advisor, an accountant, and/or a CPA.
Tip # 2. Keep your expectations realistic. Many clients have preconceived notions about what they're going to get out of a divorce. Often, their desires are driven by emotional considerations, rather than practical ones. A knowledgeable lawyer can explain the facts so you can establish realistic expectations and work towards achieving a fair settlement.
Tip # 3. Be proactive and plan ahead. Be proactive, and always plan ahead as if your spouse is planning ahead too. It's not uncommon for people to start strategizing their divorce months, if not years before they file for divorce. You may need to call your attorney with strategic questions, even before your spouse realizes that divorce is on the horizon.
Tip # 4. Be honest with your divorce attorney. Your attorney should know everything that is happening behind the scenes. If you had an affair, or if you were arrested for domestic violence or DUI, your attorney needs to know about it. Your attorney must be thoroughly informed to make educated decisions about your case. You must be transparent with your lawyer, even if there were embarrassing events in your past.
Tip # 5. It's best to take the high road. Divorce can make you a better person, or it can make you a bitter person, which will it be? Even if your spouse broke your heart by having an affair, it's better to act calmly and rationally, and not reactively; this way you don't say or do anything that will harm your case.
Forget about slinging mud. Instead, put your energy into finding constructive ways to reach a settlement and move on to the next chapter of your life. Don't use the children as pawns, and don't let yourself be manipulated by your spouse. Take a break from social media – everything you post can and will be used against you. Remember, happiness is the best revenge.