How Parents Divorce Without Going to War

All out divorce wars are sad. They harm families and can cause long-term consequences for the children of divorce. As child custody battles rage on, spouses often spend more money than their net worth on protracted court battles all in the name of "protecting their children and their assets."

Look at two of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. They've announced that they are settling their divorce with the assistance of a neutral mediator, who will help them resolve their issues amicably.

As the divorce mediation trend has become increasingly popular among celebrities, it's surprising how few non-celebrity couples have chosen to intentionally mediate for the purpose of protecting their children's happiness and thoughtfully navigating their divorce.

Embracing the Celebrity Trend

As seasoned divorce attorneys who have seen and heard it all, we firmly believe that more families should embrace this celebrity trend: a peaceful divorce through divorce mediation.

In a joint statement, Affleck and Garner, who have three young children together, recently stated that they are going forward with love and friendship for one another, and a commitment for co-parenting their children.

They may be completely different people or they may have grown apart, but even though they couldn't get it right, one thing's for sure: the couple has to be commended for the way they are approaching their divorce.

They're going their separate ways, but their words and actions demonstrate their honorable commitment to reorganizing their family in a healthy way, rather than the alternative – a destructive course that tears their family apart.

Custody Battles Foster Ongoing Conflict

Sometimes child custody battles are certainly necessary, but they often involve two loving parents and they could have been avoided, with everyone's dignity intact. The truth of the matter is that contentious divorce and custody battles can fail to consider the child's best interests.

Why? Because they foster ongoing conflict between the parents, which is known for being the underlying cause of long-term psychological issues in children of divorce.

On the other end of the spectrum you have divorce mediation, which has the opposite effect of high-conflict divorce. Mediation actually de-escalates the conflict between the parties and lays a healthy foundation for post-divorce co-parenting.

In the absence of domestic violence, mediation can be the ideal choice, especially when children are involved. Regardless of who ended the marriage or why, responsible parents put their pain and anger aside and cooperate as co-parents during and after the divorce.

The courtroom experience fails to encourage healthy co-parenting after divorce. But, divorce mediation provides the perfect opportunity to do just that.

As a general rule, children of mediated divorces are more likely to maintain closer relationships with both parents as compared to the children of litigated divorces.

Contact Cutter & Lax to discuss your case with a Board Certified family law specialist.